Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Monday, April 21, 2008

um, AWESOME vid (better than sol's)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Izet8zN1vmE


also, recent convo:

D: (pointing to cover of People magazine about the polygamist sects) Ugh.

E: what, you don't really like the whole 14-year-old girls being married to their first cousins scenario?

D: no, not that. her hairdo.

E: that's what's bothersome to you about that situation???

Personal Urban Legend

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Best Convo in Awhile

Too long to format. Enjoy.

5:44 PM me: can you please have your kid do this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tnxkXpjFkc puh-lease!!
5:45 PM you know you want your kid to have youtube fame!!
6:43 PM Timothy: yeah, if micah inherited any of his mother and father's genes, this won't be happening anytime soon. we'll be lucky if he can walk without drooling
6:44 PM me: way to put your wife down
Timothy: ask wifey if she can dance and she'll tell you the same
me: she can ddr
Timothy: um
me: better than me (altho, that doesn't say anything) i've played 3 different instruments but i'm tone deaf and can't keep a beat/rythm. wteff?!
6:46 PM Timothy: i still play 2 instruments and sind and still can't keep a beat or hit certain intonations
sing
me: at least when you were on praise team, your jundo didn't tell you to stop singing
Timothy: yeah, that woulda been rough
me: and miriam wins again!
but winning is really losing
.:shrug:.
i'll always win a one-up contest
oh, and one of my roommate's asked me to not sing in the shower
Timothy: i'm taller than you. one up that.
6:48 PM me: i wasn't specific
i'll win a one-up contest on life sucking
my bad. need to be clear
Timothy: nonono. you did not know me growing up. they had a saying here "only sungjin". as in "that could only happen to tim".
me: that's just implied here
people don't even try to complain around me
they begin to, and then stop
bc...i do have it worse
in some odd way
6:50 PM Timothy: i dunno, were you ever "caught" by a fish hook and sent to the emergency room?
did you ever stick a chopstick in an electrical outlet?
me: did you ever paralyze yourself in a dance off?
did you ever run into the exit and get a black eye while sober?
6:51 PM Timothy: did you ever fall on a rusty nail and have the pastor tell you "walk, you deserve it".

did you ever get a static shock amplified by praise team equipment directly on your nipple?
me: did you ever get a mullet?
6:52 PM Timothy: got a curly perm - even worse
was told it'd be straight
me: while being a "grownsup"?
Timothy: 8th grade - worse
me: mullet summer '07
true story
definitely beating the boys off with a stick
6:53 PM Timothy: i dunno, perm during 8th grade right before picture day will give mullet a run for its 4
$
me: uh...mullet on girl?
when she's 24?
6:54 PM Timothy: perm on a boy?
me: and lives in new york city?
Timothy: during the peak of puberty?
me: i had a perm once
and it FROed
Timothy: again, boy
me: specifically for picture day
i don't know if all my hair's even in the picture

youcould have buzzed it
Timothy: yeah, cuz an 8th grader thinks of that
me: yea!!!
6:55 PM Timothy: and has access to those tools
me: yea
or just have it
clearly you enjoyed it
it doesn't count if you enjoy it
some girl at work was crying about her mullet
Timothy: yeah, picture was plastered in our church gallery for the next 10 years

me: i told her my story and showed her my hair
i made everyone feel better
6:56 PM and this was months after it should have grown out
DID NOT!
Timothy: you could have cut it too
me: dude
Timothy: or permed
me: do you nkow how long i've been trying to grow my hair out for?
uh...
i ain't got money
and clearly i had issues with the first perm

Timothy: you had the option to cut
me: but then i would have looked like a boy too
6:57 PM there was no winning
i literally would have looked like a 10 year old boy
http://www.beerscavengerhunt.com/
6:59 PM Timothy: went to disneyworld when i was 12, dad gave me beat down in front of friends for something trival, so traumatized that when i went back when i was 17 i thought it was my first time cuz i forgot everything.
7:00 PM me: at least you got to go to disneyworld
twice
Timothy: once for school

me: now you're just showing off
what a jerk
Timothy: once because other families went
never had a real "family vaca"
me: uh
7:01 PM my one and only family vacay was a day at kings island
AND
david was 3
neither of my parents would ride anything
what was i supposed to do?
Timothy: didn't have a conversation with my dad until i was 14

me: still haven't had one
7:02 PM Timothy: by conversation, i mean "said something to him"
me: how'd you get beat down then?
Timothy: silently
me: oh, i gg
we'll continue this tomorrow!
Timothy: k
me: payce
Timothy: i work longer
i win
me: no way

Timothy: ha
i'm still here
me: i'm an hour ahead of you
Timothy: ha
me: and i come in earlier
7:03 PM and i don't have benefits
Timothy: i'll stay 61 more min
me: puh lease

Another Convo

True story.

me: I want to go home and change my pants.
s: Why?
me: Bc you can see my bpahn-suh line. Yuck.
s: Well, guys shouldn't be looking anyway.
me: .:ambiguous muttering to self:.
s: You want mine? Bc I can go commando. I don't mind. I do it at least once a week.
me: Yea, it's called Commando Wednesday.
s: Oh, I didn't know. I just did it. Sometimes twice.

THIS is how bands should be

Thursday, April 3, 2008

my hero

http://www.scribd.com/doc/32390/The-Ultimate-Rejection-Letter

smarter than a 5th grader

two convos that should be posted:

CONVO 1

Scene: me walking Harv, runs into guy walking a bulldog.

Guy: (looking at harv's collar) don't tell me that you like Ohio State.

Me: buckeye fan through and through!

Guy: ugh. i shouldn't associate with you.

Me: i take it you're a michigan fan?

Guy: my wife and i both went to michigan.

Me: Harv, we need to get away from this riff-raff. (we both run away)

Guy: that's what i thought.


CONVO 2

Scene: cocktail party, me and my friend K are talking about how cute our coworker is.

me: seriously, i just want to shrink him down and put him in my pocket!

K: yeah, really. and you know what? his twin brother is cute too!

me: (long pause) K, sometimes i want to punch you in the face.

K: how did i get into law school?