It's a Wonderful Life

Uh...so much for Lent.

He's Going to Seminary

pastor: haha yeah
hey this is our commercial: http://youtube.com/watch?v=3PH9qAGPULk
it's pretty tame
me: i don't have sound on
what are the singing?
keywords?
pastor: hahah
something about celebrating
because they don't have to suffer from ED i guess
me: haha
i hate when that happens
haha
pastor: hahaha
pastor: oh ok- so these are the keywords that are pretty fun
erection hardness score
me: score!
haha
all together?
pastor: yeah, there's a grading
hold on, lemme show you
grade 3 erection
grade 3 or 4 erection
harder penis
hardness scale
there are aparently 4 different levels
me: haha!!
pastor: oh ok, here is the hardness page
http://www.viagra.com/content/hardness-matters.jsp?setShowOn=../content/about-viagra-ed-treatment.jsp&setShowHighlightOn=../content/hardness-matters.jsp
me: ...
do i really want to look at this?
pastor: yeah
ok
don't look at it
me: with the british behind me?
pastor: hahah
yeah haha kinda inappropriate
ok sorry
but you know, it helps people. They say half of men over 40 suffer from it
me: haha
i'm glad you're very well versed
pastor: there's a testimony. i'm watching it now
ok. well i bet you think i'm a perv. but i work on other drugs too!

Censored

From now on my away messages will be censored at work bc someone on my floor talks to me. This is both good and bad. The end.

Random

a. Atonement, Beyonce, Facebook & anything/anyone Oprah endorses are the banes of my existence.
2. "I just had my award handed to me by a Beetle. Have you had that happen yet, Kanye?" - awesome Grammy moment by some guy I don't know.
d. I finally went grocery shopping last night. I made myself lunch. I have lunch taken care of everyday this week except for Thursday. That's it. I have the worst timing in life ever.
7. I really want to go to the Foo Fighters concert next week.

Cooties

I think I told everyone and their moms that I gave up boys for Lent (whatever that entails). Upon hearing this some boy has decided to ask me for drinks. I have wised up...I think I just got hit on. How many more times can I use "I" in this post? Anyway...I believe I'll ignore.

awwww!

cute video that charlie brown sent: http://www.youtube.com/user/CocaColaSuperbowl

Friendship

M's Away: dragonball the movie?
Fat Guy*: your so asian
me: woa, i forgot you existed
Fat Guy*: haha unfourtunately im still alive

*Actual name has been changed to protect identity.

Choices

I think I may need to change career paths. Acting is the new find. Why? Because then I can get paid to be bad*ss instead of just being bad*ss. Word.

Mafia

Goli: I'm going to miss NY pizza the most
me: not me?!
Goli: i mean after you, of course
miriam, then pizza
me: you better get to steppin'

daisy

this is charlie brown's dog. i make a squealing sound everytime i see her.

at the levi's store

me: what's wrong?

david: all the sizes are...how do i put this delicately...made for the slim-waisted asian man.

me: how about you just say "small"?